What is it about taking kids to catwalk shows that makes people so cross?I don’t get it. You can take kids to music festivals, you can take them
to fancy restaurants, you can take them to far-flung corners of the
world, and the world will look on and think: that’s cool, it’s all good
life experience. But take them to Somerset House for a London Fashion Week catwalk show? Cue more pious outrage than that time Michael Jackson dangled his kids out of a hotel window.
Does
it make people cross because they think you are using the kid as an
accessory to attract attention, like a new pair of Sophia Webster shoes?
This would make sense if the fashion industry was peopled only by
neurotic loners who use their ovens for shoe storage and have no human
contact between one show season and the next, but in reality this
workforce has a disproportionately high rate of working mothers. So,
perhaps it makes people cross because they believe fashion is inherently
morally degenerate, and therefore the front row no more of a place for a
child than a crack den? Um, run that one by me? Because I fail to see
how the next generation will be inexorably corrupted by early exposure
to the return of the high-waisted trouser.
As
you may have guessed, I have taken my kids to fashion shows. When I
returned to work after having my first baby, Alfie was just six months
old, so my mum came with me to New York and Paris fashion weeks, looking
after him while I was working. I never took him to a show myself,
because I just didn’t see how I could concentrate and take sufficiently
detailed notes on a collection to write a news review while
simultaneously bouncing a baby. (Kim Kardashian doesn’t have this problem,
obviously.) But, at Paris Fashion Week, a friend who came down with
flu, knowing my fashion-loving mum would love to see a show, offered her
tickets to Yves Saint Laurent and Stella McCartney. Mum sat in the
fourth row, Alfie on her knee. He was utterly transfixed, and clapped
wildly at the end. (He was particularly enthusiastic about YSL. I like
to think that he recognised the design genius of Tom Ford, but in
reality he had just learnt to clap and was really pleased with himself.)
Since my daughter Pearl was about six – old enough to sit still during
the sometimes-lengthy waiting, and then sketch quietly – I have taken
her to a few Saturday shows most London fashion weeks.
The kids you see on the front row of fashion shows are not there for
show, but for very practical reasons. The month of catwalk shows doesn’t
break for weekends, because it is more time- and money-efficient to
schedule the four cities – New York, London, Milan, then Paris – back to
back. If a buyer from LA has flown to Milan, she doesn’t want to
twiddle her thumbs in a hotel room – and miss her own kids back home,
most likely – so that the locals can hang out with their families. It’s
an efficient system. Nevertheless, most of us would quite like our kids
to be able to pick us out in a line-up once fashion month ends. So
what’s the harm in combining a Saturday morning at the shows with
spending some time with your child?
But there are politics involved, for sure. The plus-mini-one scenario
is entirely different in celebrity and civilian scenarios. If you are a
celebrity, the designer will be thrilled you brought your kid, because
the paparazzi love nothing more than a celebrity baby, so it’s great
publicity. This does not apply, obviously, for us civilians. The
Saturday-morning-baby thing is tolerated – after all, lots of designers
and show organisers are women with kids and understand – but you have to
play by the rules. You don’t bring kids until they are old enough to
behave themselves: this is someone else’s big day, and not yours to
jeopardise by bringing a toddler who might have a tantrum. And you
never, ever let your child sit on a seat next to you until the lights go
down and you are completely sure the seat is free.
But you know what? Kids are so much fun at fashion shows. As Kanye
West said the other day, “Fashion is merely opinions. And I have lots of
opinions.” Kids have a million opinions, and they are not afraid to
share them, which makes the after-show debrief hilarious. Also, children
have an incredibly low bar when it comes to celebrity, and so are made
up when they get to have their picture taken with anyone even vaguely
off the telly, which is perfect for London Fashion Week where your
Jolie-Pitts are hard to come by, but every other show has someone from
Saturday-night light entertainment in the front row.
But I’ll be honest: there are downsides. For a start, you can’t have a
kir royale and a couple of canapes and call it lunch. I may be an
irresponsible, front-row-with-kid mummy, but even I know that.
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